“Life begins at the edge of our comfort zone.”
–Neale Dolald Walsch
Your history is a measure of only one thing: your history.
We all have a history. We all carry a story of who we believe ourselves to be. However, that history is crafted more from words than is it from circumstance. Circumstances aren’t always within our control. To be frank, sometimes “shit happens.” But, what we do have control of is our perception, the words we use to speak to the situation and the thoughts we form about what happened. That perception becomes a storyline and the storylines we repeat form chapters. Before you know it, we’ve got several chapters dedicated to the “But it’s true” or “I’m just not lovable” or “I can’t have.” The words we speak, the thoughts we think, are the truth we acknowledge and know…until new words are chosen.
For over twenty years I lived a history of I’m not good enough, a simple story I started telling when I was six and my brother walked away with the coveted pageant award. That one simple story formed the framework for every story I told from that point on. My team lost a soccer game? Well that’s because I wasn’t enough. My father’s alcoholism? That was also because I wasn’t enough. My belief in my not-enoughness and the fear of never measuring up, became so loud that my A-type perfectionist sought out an answer. What I found was an eating disorder.
When we are growing into something that is bigger than the box we are used to, we must undergo a process of rebirth so that we can expand and open up to those possibilities. Rebirthing ourselves means shedding the skin that is holding us back from our potential, removing the layers that prevent our true light from shining through. Rebirthing ourselves means letting go of our history and all those parts that are no longer who we are and want to be. Letting go of my eating disorder over the last two years has been a gradual and hard process. I had identified myself with my ED for over eight years. I was deeply imbued in my habits. I was deeply entrenched in the negative words I used to describe myself and my body. I was deeply attached to what the scale read. But, the bottom line is that my ED was a mechanism to keep me playing small. When I was at the edge of my comfort zone, ready to grow into something bigger than the box than I was used to, my ED offered me shelter from resistance. Even if the change was something I desired, rather than having to face the discomfort of growth and expansion, I quietly let my ED take the reins. For me, hitting rock bottom-an interview at Renfrew eating disorder clinic and two days in Friends Hospital for depression-was enough to decide something needed to change.
Change is hard. Change is scary. Change is always happening.
The truth is, we’re always changing-sometimes in ways we can’t see and sometimes in ways that really show. We’re either writing another chapter of an old history or we’re choosing to tell a new story. Every time we step up and use our words to light a spiritual fire within us, each time we desire to grow into something bigger than the box we are used to, we will be challenged with a choice: rebirth or hibernation.
Last week, after teaching Insanity at the Athleta store, I was given a card with the well-known phrase, “Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.” It was very appropriate for this hardcore class, but it really stuck a chord with me. As I currently find myself again growing into something bigger, as I find myself wanting clarity and not knowing exactly what I want in all areas of my life; I find myself up against the resistance of unknowing. I find myself at the edge of my comfort zone not knowing where a singular leap will take me, but that I have a simple choice to leap into a rebirth or stand on the edge and stay the same.
I AM ready to take the leap…are you?
If you are ready to rewrite your history, if you are ready to rebirth your self, join me for May’s 30 day challenge: My Word is Law.
Rebirthing is a process. Rewriting your history takes time. But, the length of that timeline depends entirely on what you are willing to do, what #smallaction you are willing to take today. If you take a step here or a step there every once and a while, you will stretch out the time it takes to see results and because you aren’t “seeing” the changes taking place, perhaps you’ll want to give up. BUT, if you take one small action TODAY that is aligned with who you say you want to be and the life you want to live, you will begin to manifest the change you wish to see in your life.
The decision to start begins now and your story of tomorrow is in your words today. Here’s to words that open our hearts, magnify our dreams, free us of old limiting beliefs, affirm our potential, incite us to action and light a spiritual fire within. Here’s to your rebirth and mine.