Do you “Dear Abby” your life?

“Move and the way will open.”

–Zen proverb                                           


Has there ever been a time when you wished you had your own “Dear Abby”? Where a crystal ball could clear up the unknown? Where a Magic 8 Ball could lay out your possible options?


Clarity. We ask for it. We wonder about it. We drive ourselves crazy over it. We think we must have it “all figured out” or that we need a game plan before we can take action. In terms of the Chicken vs. Egg theory, we believe we need clarity around our “unknown” before we can take action.


There’s a lot of unknown’s in my life. There’s a lot of change on the table. In some areas of my life, I feel like I’m straddling a line, a foot on each side, neither willing to cross over to meet the other. And it terrifies the heck out of me. This ambiguity has my type-A, OCD, no-worries-I-got-a-G.P. (my official acronym for Game Plan because yes…I’m that neurotic about having things laid out) spinning in circles. It’s exhausting.


Something I’m realizing in my search for clarity as I take on May’s 30 Day Challenge, is the sole act of asking an empowering question will not bring about the clarity I seek. Simply put: I can’t “Dear Abby” my way to a greater understanding by asking, “How can I gain more clarity about __________?” and hoping the answer will just show up. Being a powerful force for positive change in our lives happens when we ask an empowering question AND take steps toward an empowering answer. Those small actions are what enable us to move closer to the truth we seek. If we “Dear Abby” our lives, if we wait to have it all figured out before we take action, we’ll forever remain a victim to our circumstances.


Clarity to know what TO do…comes from the DO-ing. For a while now, I’ve been tormented over creating a sense of balance in my life. I’ve been asking, “How do I create balance between my dreams and my role as a mother?” So often I get focused on my dreams and going for them full-force, that I’m missing out on milestone moments with my 5 ½ year-old son, Johnny. This struggle has brought me a great sense of guilt but also an amazing opportunity to not just ask the empowering question but to be part of the empowering answer. The empowering answer always seems to fall to the wayside because I just don’t have time. Yes, it’s true I’m very busy…but here’s the thing I’m calling myself out on: the best way to “figure out” how to have time and space is to CREATE it. It’s a simple concept, but it’s also a hard one to admit to ourselves that as busy as we are, WE have the power to CREATE whatever it is we want. Time included.


This Sunday I created time. After teaching my intenSati class in the morning, I spent the afternoon co-facilitating a Declare Your It workshop. It was a long day and one that would be easy to come home from with the intention to sleep or hammer out some work for the week. Rather than do those things, my normal things that leave me with a sense of accomplishment but also a sense of guilt; I spent an hour watching a super hero movie with my little guy. It was a small action to have him sit in my lap and reenact various parts of the movie, but it brought me the clarity and reminder that I have the power to create time and that it’s the quality of time, not the quantity I spend with him, that counts.


Action brings us closer to the truth. Action- especially the terrifying action we’re resisting because we don’t have it all figured out-is often the way to stop spinning in agonizing circles and finally start moving forward toward the life we want most.


It’s not about doing it all at once, having a game plan, or even doing the “right” action. It’s simply about the DO-ing. Because what you’ll find is that one small action, even if it’s not the “right” action, IS still the right action. Action ALWAYS brings clarity. It either informs us of what we want or what we don’t want so that we can keep moving forward.


This week, don’t just “Dear Abby” your life. Become the Abby OF your life. Ask that empowering question. Seek out the empowering answer by taking one small action. What is ONE #smallaction YOU can take today? Do that one #smallaction and know that YOU are powerful beyond measure.


(Wondering what Empowering Questions are all about? Click HERE to start asking. Wondering how you can take small actionable steps in the direction of your dreams? Click HERE to get started with May’s 30 Day Challenge)