“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”
Creating change in our lives starts with being honest with ourselves.
In the past 30 days, how many of these have you done?
- Called out of work by saying you were sick (even though you weren’t)
- Said you’d love to attend an event but you were already busy (even though you weren’t)
- Justified your behavior (cheating/binging/purging/drinking) as OK by saying it’s just this one time
- Said you were going to the gym but then blamed not going on the weather, being tired…
- Stretched the truth in the hopes of getting further ahead
- Minimized your hard work or brushed off your accomplishments
Honesty is hard.
One of the main reasons we don‘t keep our word is, on some level, we don‘t want to be responsible for how powerful and capable we really are. We‘d rather not have to deal with the possibility of failure or the unattainment of our dreams. We‘d rather shrug it off as I‘m too old, it‘s just not possible, I don’t have the money, or it won‘t last. We‘d rather believe that our life, to some degree, is out of our hands. And so we lie, justify our actions, make excuses, or negotiate with ourselves. But what happens is that each and every time we break our word to ourselves, we are proving our weakness and taking away our co-creative power.
How good are you to your word?
Creating the life we want starts with our word. Our words are a powerful creative force. In every word we speak, we give ourselves a message. We tell ourselves what we are capable of. We tell ourselves who we are. In every word we speak, we declare our dreams and goals to the universe. Every time we speak, we create a path of some sort. The quality of that path and how far it goes is directly related to the integrity of our word.
Honesty is hard.
Last week I had a call with my life coach, Hildie. Over the last few months, I made a decision to up my game. I decided I wanted more. I wanted to play bigger than I ever had before and go full force toward my dreams of teaching and empowering others to be their best selves. In making this declaration I incited excitement, but I also provoked fear. One voice was dancing to, “Wahoo, dreams here we come!” while the other was shaking its head fiercely with “No-no-no…let‘s just stay where we are. Everything is great and we‘re doing fine. If you play bigger, you‘ll just fall harder.” It‘s the same game I always play anytime I step outside my comfort zone.
I wanted to teach more classes and grow personally and professionally and what dropped into my lap (or rather my inbox) was precisely that. I was asked to teach a Cardio Party dance class-all my own! – starting on Thursday mornings May 1st at 10:00 AM at the Aquatic Fitness Center in Bala Cynwyd. As soon as the excitement of teaching my class at AFC kicked in so did the ‘Oh Crap’ of fear. But, what I came to realize was at the root of my fear was an excuse. Excuses are lies we tell ourselves so that we don‘t have to deal with what is really bothering us. If my fear-based excuse of it won‘t be good enough or I can‘t create my own choreography was real, it wouldn’t be an excuse but would be an empowering avenue for creation.
The truth is, I used my excuse of not being capable to design my own class to cover for all the other things I wasn‘t saying. It was easy to cop to the anxiety of creating a new class because the anxiety, the feeling, was real. It was easy to use that excuse to hide behind, because that fear allowed me to play small and not risk failure. But underneath my excuse was one simple truth: I was scared. Scared of all the things I wasn‘t saying. Scared to tell my parents about my divorce. Scared to admit what I really want in life. Scared that I might not know what I want. Scared of letting go. Scared of the unknown. Scared to be clear with what I’m really scared about.
Truth sets us free. As soon as I acknowledged what I wasn‘t saying and why I wasn‘t saying it, I felt a gentle sense of ease settle in. Honesty IS hard but it‘s easy to follow through once. In order for us to build the muscle of integrity, however, we must follow through with our word and mean what we say, over and over again until we build a new relationship to our word and ourselves. The power to change is within us and it starts with what we‘re saying and not saying.
Creating change in our lives starts with being honest to ourselves. It is the accumulation of agreements we make with ourselves that put the stake in the ground for the dream or the excuse. It is the accumulation of small, everyday choices that enable us to own our power or let ourselves off the hook. Small choices lead to big results.
Are YOU ready to take steps in the direction of your dreams? What change do you want to see in your life? What are you not saying? And, what is ONE small action you can take today that will allow you to step into a new, powerful relationship to your word? If you are ready to commit to giving your word and creating powerful change in your life, join May‘s 30-day challenge: My Word is Law. I‘ll be sending out challenge details soon, but if you‘re interested in joining this challenge group, get started by completing THIS worksheet.
May you use the power of your word in the direction of truth and know that there is no truth to find; only truth to speak.